Celebrity Disaster

Running on Whippits and Red Bull

In case you haven't been inundated with this already, Demi Moore ended up having a bad week. And, it just sort of hit me when I was trying to ignore this story and not blog about it. We have been treated to an alternative version of Demi Moore for the last decade or so that has been a complete and utter fraud.

Well, maybe not a decade, but the thing with Moore has always centered around the fact that she has stayed extremely attractive for her age and that she has maintained a very attractive figure well into her 40s. Weren't there TwitPics and people making a big deal out of her looks? Weren't there accolades and film roles based on the fact that she had a great body?

It was all based on her being addicted to Red Bull.

There are stories coming out now that she has been living off of Red Bull for ten years. How is that possible? How is it possible that she was able to do that? (Then there's the girl who lived on chicken nuggets--how awful if, in fact, it's even true).

In her attempt to maintain a career and a public image, Demi Moore has probably ruined her health. Was it worth it? Of course not.

The Case Against Andy Dick Has No Merit

When you go to an Andy Dick show, I think you can expect to be shocked, surprised, and maybe even a little entertained. My question is, did these two young men pay money to see Andy Dick without knowing anything about him? Were they expecting Larry the Cable Guy?

The case was filed in order to beat the statute of limitations. This means that the gentlemen in question are expecting some sort of settlement in order to make the case go away. There's a good shot at a settlement, but I think there's an ever better shot that Dick doesn't pay anyone for being in the audience at his show, especially if he can convince a judge that that's what he does.

I used to not be sympathetic, but I am fully sympathetic to Andy Dick these days and I think he's getting piled on here. He does what he does. And my opinion about him changed because of Marc Maron's WTF Podcast with him back in April of last year. If you haven't already done so, sign up and give this a listen and decide for yourself. There are few things on the Internet worth paying for, but WTF is worth it and I can say that because I'm not getting a dime for saying so.

Megan Fox Island

This is not awful.

So Much for Grantland

I think there were a number of people who had high hopes for Grantland. I think many of those hopes are now probably dashed, if they haven't been dashed already.

When it first came out, Grantland was supposed to give us something different about the popular culture. Bill Simmons promised something that would take his enthusiasm for sports writing and bring the pop culture sensibility that he had into a new mix and offer up something of quality. Or maybe he just wanted to write about things that interested him but couldn't because he was being paid to write about sports for ESPN.

This "rate the Stank" sort of thing is not what I expected to see on Grantland. I have been very impressed with the quality of the site until exactly now. I would have thought that someone could have taken this exact subject provided a different take on it. Rating divas one through ten and snarking about it doesn't exactly qualify. And picking Adele as number one is ludicrous--her voice could be gone. Dismissing Lady Gaga with a pithy one liner? How does that chase after something of a higher quality?

This is pretty much what you see on trashy celeb websites and Grantland has decided to stumble with them into the basement and giggle about nonsense. Compare how this sits next to Chuck Klosterman's take on Van Halen. A gushing barrage of pure, unadulterated enthusiasm for something as opposed to a piss-take on the obvious.

Talk about dashed hopes.

Zooey Deschanel Turns Her Back on Gawker

People get tired of being mocked. People also get tired of celebrities who complain about websites that mock them. The best thing to do is to stop worrying about which site does what and do whatever it is you do and get on with it.

Zooey Deschanel has been hitting the interview circuit pretty hard lately, and that's fine with me. This backlash against her indicates that something she's doing must be working. The only reason why anyone would call you a labradoodle is if you were making your mark.

David Letterman Still Has a Problem With Women

My guess is that Letterman simply doesn't care. He's going to ride out the last few years of his career and retain that nasty veneer that others seem to gloss over.

In American pop culture, you can be an iconic talk show host and no one will call you out for having serious issues with women and no one will take notice of the demise of what you do. There isn't any reason to pay attention to what Letterman does anymore. They will make a big deal out of his retirement and then he and his show will simply vanish.

Will there ever be the kind of nostalgia for Letterman that exists with Johnny Carson? I highly doubt it. People will look back at the Letterman show and conclude that he was simply too mean and cranky to remember fondly. He's the younger version of Andy Rooney, and no one misses him, either.

We Can Only Hope For More Shows Like Downton Abbey

Contrary to popular belief, television shows don't have to be historically accurate, especially when they admit, right up front, that they're not being historically accurate.

Poor Simon Schama just wants some attention. Downton Abbey is fantastic, by the way. I have seen the entire first season and it really is as good as advertised. It is an adult drama told in a masterful way. Each episode unfolds at a pace that is sorely missed in television right now. I mean, the way these stories and plots and subplots unfurl themselves is really well done.

My pet theory--reject it if you wish--is that Downton Abbey is doing so well right now because of the massive hole dug into popular television by Reality programming. With fewer and fewer scripted drama shows out there in the "hour long" format, there is a real hunger for anything that is of a certain quality that tells an actual story. I mean, a burning hole in the gut kind of hunger.

Downton Abbey should be studied and, if not copied, then certainly adapted to other eras and with other characters and archetypes. As always, if it tells a story, it will probably work on television.