Showing posts with label Weird. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Weird. Show all posts

Friday, March 6, 2020

The Kids in the Hall Are Back


This is somewhere around the seventh or eighth reunion of the Kids in the Hall, so don't call it a comeback:
Amazon Prime Video is making a new eight-episode continuation of the original 1989 sketch comedy series, and yes, all of the original Canadian cast members will return. Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald, Bruce McCulloch, Mark McKinney and Scott Thompson will be reprising some of their original fan-favorite characters as well as playing some brand new ones. 
The series will be executive produced by "Saturday Night Live" creator Lorne Michaels' Broadway Video. 
"Even after 30 years, 'The Kids in the Hall' has retained its brilliance and originality," said Michaels. "We are happy to be bringing back all of the original 'Kids' for the new series." 
"We've been investing in Canada for several years and are excited to add to that momentum by making The Kids in the Hall the first Canadian Amazon Original series," said James Farrell, vice president of international originals for Amazon Studios.
Lorne Michaels is a bloodsucking vampire, and I would have to imagine, since I don't know anything about show business, that he's keeping 90% of the money from this and that's wrong. If this thing makes Amazon a lot of money, I guess I'll keep Prime but, really, the porch pirate thing is out of control.

Let's say, for example, I order the DVD set that has all the episodes of the classic series. Yeah, I'll rifle through those if it makes it to my door, but what's more likely is that someone is going to drive up in one of those vans with the blue letters on the side and they're going to toss a padded envelope with the wrong goddamned version of Trailer Park Boys in it onto the front porch and drive away. I hate that shit. What's up with the guy with the fake glasses? Isn't there a law against portraying disabled people in a negative way?

While my bad attitude takes over, up from the darkness, a lone figure, a guy in sweatpants and a jean jacket, is going to wave his flashlight around my front yard, grab the package, and give his buddy Jake the signal to start the car so they can beat it out of here. I'm not getting involved in any of that shit. Take it, take it and go, you probably need the laughs more than me, jean jacket guy.

As a matter of fact, to hell with all this. I'm still smarting from something that went wrong years ago and I'm not about to get invested in something that allows Lorne to buy another house in the Hamptons, wherever that is, man.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Batshit Crazy Takes a Great Photo

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="603.0"]  President Trump and Vice President Pence meet with Lilian Tintori and Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) at the White House on Wednesday, Jan. 15, 2017. (The White House)  President Trump and Vice President Pence meet with Lilian Tintori and Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) at the White House on Wednesday, Jan. 15, 2017. (The White House) [/caption]


This is an interesting photo. You can see the misery and panic in the eyes of this young woman. You can see that Marco Rubio is already saying a prayer every night that his male pattern baldness holds off for a little more than four more years. You can see that Trump has no idea what's happening, so he flashes a thumbs up because that's about all he can handle right now. Pence? Pence is lost, hopelessly lost, but the National Naval Observatory is much, much nicer than the Indiana governor's mansion, so his family probably isn't completely miserable right now.

It's a photo taken on the deck of the Titanic. The deck chairs are about to go sliding off into the ocean. Thumb's up! Freedom is just around the corner. 

Oh no.

Where's Trump's other hand?













Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Yeah, That's a Little Nutty




Who among us hasn't believed something nutty before?

Gwyneth Paltrow is hawking a new product on her site Goop called the “Jade Egg.” The object is to be inserted vaginally to “harness the power of energy work, crystal healing, and a Kegel-like physical practice,” one endorsement explains. But one OBGYN was so furious after reading about the eggs she couldn’t hold back. 
“All I can tell you is it is the biggest load of garbage I have read on your site since vaginal steaming,” Dr. Jen wrote on her blog. “It’s even worse than claiming bras cause cancer. But hey, you aren’t one to let facts get in the way of profiting from snake oil.”
The endorsement justifies the use of the jade eggs because “queens and concubines used them to stay in shape for emperors.”

Not only nutty but dangerous as well:

A major warning Dr. Gunter attacked Paltrow’s store for is the idea that a woman should sleep with the jade egg inside of her. Because jade is porous it can introduce dangerous bacteria into the vagina which “could act like a fomite.” Like a kind of smallpox blanket stuck inside.

In other words, avoid using a jade egg.













Tuesday, June 7, 2016

This Dainty Fellow




He was no snob. He would eat the meal of the masses. It would suffice.

He had someone on salary ensure that someone else being paid by the hour with no benefits would put rolled silverware into a napkin for him to consider. It would never be used. Form over function. Waste was a way of life. Napkins, oh God, yes.

He was taught to lay out a thick paper napkin and cover it with another. Each and everything before him had to be covered or adorned. He was told that his French fries needed to be laid out end to end and then consumed before his meal but only if the napkin sanitized it all. Ketchup was for morons and wastrels. It was probably rancid stuff but he had never tasted it. He was a rough man who could appear relatable if the media people asked. I'm relating to them, he muttered, but make sure I get something else later.

The world won't wait for a man to sample everything and proceed with his value meal from McDonald's. You can look at his untouched sandwich and know his disgust. He had a limit, and there was no way he was going to eat the grubby lettuce placed there by someone making minimum wages. It was a rebuke for you rubes and your desire to consume the flesh of animals and burp everything back up into a ridiculously small serving of Diet Coke, more so when considering the food was unacceptable on many levels.

But he was hungry, and he needed what Bukowski called fuel so he could create. A big sandwich consisting of produce picked by the brown people who bellowed at him from afar and the rest assembled by humble and underpaid peons was enough for him, for now.

The Apple Pie was missing from his meal, and so he withdrew a dainty hand and ordered an underling to retrieve him another.

He waited, munching and sad.

The apple pie arrived and this was not to be shared. It was jammed into filthy cardboard and overheated. The proletariat had risen against the bourgeois. He burned his mouth. Screams, that was what they heard when he finally tossed the meal aside. Damned thing. That's what apples taste like? Give them to the poor.

Fuckers.













Friday, July 10, 2015

Heh, Indeed, Mr. Alinsky




I was hoping to see something of substance when I checked out the crazies at Powerline, and all I saw was a rehash of what most emphatically did not keep America from electing and then re-electing President Barack Hussein Alinsky Benghazi Obama of rural Kenya. Darn the luck.

You can wade through the Saul Alinsky material if you want, but it's just going to give you a headache. Instead of seething nutters gnawing at the insides of their own mouths, we get practiced outrage and guilt by association.

These people are bonkers and there are no more attendants with butterfly nets to chase them down and put them in the padded cells. Such a pity, such wasted lives, but the ads are super!

I don't know how they still live in Minnesota, these crazies from the Powerline blog. Minnesota is booming, it has a liberal governor who refuses to burnish a national profile, and it sits next to the slapdash clapboard monument to conservative policy ideas, Wisconsin. Every time someone compares Minnesota to Wisconsin, you can hear Packers fans howling about how they've won Superbowls and things like that. What you can't hear are people walking out of a Wisconsin unemployment office with anything but fear and a kick in the ass for their troubles.

It must be impossible to contemplate the idea that Saul Alinsky was on to something, and that his minions now govern us, using his thoughts and words and deeds to give people jobs, health care, safety, and unheralded progress in the face of a multi-decade conservative freakout over nothing. 

Wait, were the first three words in that Powerline article really The David Horowitz? And no one thought to hide that fact? Sonofabitch...