Monday, November 4, 2019
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
I don’t buy furniture from thrift stores, but I recognized an IKEA bedroom piece that I thought might be worth picking up. The piece had hung together, and it was at least ten years old (I doubt you can still get one today because it was constructed of actual boards as opposed to particle board material).
But the Invisalign insert that was stuck to the inside of the top drawer was a deal breaker for me.
I can put up with a lot, but this is a bridge too far (is there a pun here?).
While I am pleased someone made a donation, and that they parted with an otherwise serviceable piece of IKEA furniture, it should come down to a matter of human decency to properly dispose of something like this. A responsible person does not leave their disposable dental inserts all over the goddamned place.
Friday, July 5, 2019
Sebastian Stan is one of those actors who should be very well known to other actors, but Gwyneth Paltrow keeps forgetting who he is for some odd reason:
It could very well be that Paltrow has no idea what she’s working on at any given time, being either confused or disorganized. In the last century, we would surmise that she was on drugs or that she was just flaky and ridiculous (kinda the same thing).
No one assumes someone is on drugs anymore, so that’s the point of all of this. We have gotten to a point when a reasonably intelligent person who can’t remember working with Sebastian Stan is not automatically accused of being heavily into drugs or completely wasted all of the time. I call that progress.
Friday, June 21, 2019
Anyone who argues that Batman (1989) was anything other than a steaming turd is trying to rewrite history. It was actually a pretty shitty movie, and it was largely acknowledged to be trashy and campy on purpose:
Hollywood's obsession with Batman began thirty years ago on June 23, 1989 when Tim Burton, Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson showed doubters that The Dark Knight was worthy of the big screen. Batmanearned a massive $411.5 million globally, but faced a tough battle to the big screen that involved rejection from nearly every studio in Hollywood and its leading lady being re-cast at the last minute.
Batman has an origin story that begins in the most unassuming of places — with a twenty-something comic book geek attending college at Indiana University in Bloomington. In 1972, Michael Uslan landed on the radar of Sol Harrison, the vice president of DC Comics in New York, because the junior in college was teaching the world’s first-ever college accredited course on comic books.
“Sol said that what I was doing at Indiana was very innovative and good for the whole comic book industry," Uslan tells The Hollywood Reporter. “Sol and DC’s then President Carmine Infantino, flew me to New York and they offered me a job.” Uslan worked in New York in summers, and he was put on retainer while he was at Indiana.
At the time, DC Comics had been acquired by Warners Communications, a division of Warner Publishing. “The Warner Publishing brass, generally speaking, were not a bunch of happy campers that they owned a comic book company,” Uslan says. “They only saw value in Superman.”
In the following years, Uslan graduated from law school and cut his teeth in the film industry at United Artists. His time there prepared Uslan to make his dream of producing a dark and serious Batman movie a reality. His first stop: getting the film rights.
“The day came when I went back to Sol Harrison and said, 'Sol, I want to buy the rights to Batman,’” Uslan recalls. “Sol was genuinely apoplectic. He was very fond of me, which I greatly appreciated. He said 'Michael, Michael for God’s sake don't do this. I don't want to see you lose all your money. Don’t you understand that after Batman went off the air on TV the brand became as dead as a dodo? Nobody’s interested in Batman anymore’ I countered with, ‘But Sol, nobody’s ever done a dark, serious Batman feature film. This is almost going to be like almost a new form of entertainment!’”
There was nothing dark or serious about Batman because, for all intents and purposes, Tim Burton was and still is a terrible filmmaker. I mean, go back and watch this, and then watch the one with poor Danny DeVito as a human penguin, and then get back to me about how these films should have been taken seriously. You could have put Adam West in these films and no one would have said a word.
Michael Keaton is a great actor, but he was largely wasted in these films. They were not “serious” in any sense of the word. They were expensive, exploitative, and copied elements from other films, such as Die Hard. If anything, send Bruce Willis fifty bucks. And, come on. If Jack Nicholson’s obituary mentions his role as the Joker, then you know something’s wrong.
Thursday, May 9, 2019
Actress Lori Loughlin has lost acting gigs and been the subject of public wrath after being charged in the college admissions scandal.
But beyond the court of public opinion, how strong is the legal case against Loughlin and her fashion designer husband?
That is the question her legal team is now trying to answer.
Loughlin and her husband have refused to plead out to federal charges, and it appears they aren’t in any hurry to do so as their legal team hunts for errors in the prosecution’s case.
“Her attorneys have made it clear that they are not going to be rushing into any deal with the prosecution,” said Louis Shapiro, an experienced federal litigator. “They want to perform a thorough analysis of the evidence and then help their client make an informed decision about what is in her best interest to do.”
The couple feel they were genuinely duped by William “Rick” Singer, the admitted mastermind of the scheme, into paying $500,000 to help get their daughters into the University of Southern California, according to a source familiar with the negotiations.
Loughlin and her husband, Mossimo Giannulli, had no sense they were engaging in any kind of crime, hence their not guilty pleas and continued reluctance to plead out, said the source, who spoke to the Los Angeles Times on the condition of anonymity.
The real threat here is not to Loughlin’s acting career but the future of her daughters on social media. All of that has collapsed. What looked to be an extremely lucrative future as an influencer has ended up being a nightmare run through the back alleys of fraud and money laundering. The actions of the parents have tainted the future of their children. Instead of owning up to a mistake, they’re going to weasel their way out of this by exploiting technicalities.
I can guarantee you—the case against Loughlin probably has some holes in it. But what’s missing here is at least a tacit admission that rich kids get into colleges and college admissions officials don’t seem to dig very hard when it comes to figuring out who should or shouldn’t get it.
America is not a meritocracy. America is rapidly becoming a kleptocracy separated by the same kinds of class barriers found in old European nations. We have always known that there were universities like Yale and Harvard that would crank out mediocre human beings that would be gifted with outlandish expectations and achievement goals upon graduation. This has given us our current political situation—a stumbling, incompetent trio of generations that failed to stop Trumpism, fascism, and nationalism.
You can hardly fault a TV actress for trying to set her indifferent kids up for a lifetime of skating by on their rather thin accomplishments. Perhaps Americans would have seen some benefit from experiencing the leveling grace of the guillotine. Who knows?
Wednesday, May 8, 2019
I get what Seth Meyers is trying to do here, but Meghan McCain is a howling mess:
Meghan McCain, the daughter of the late Senator John McCain, struggled through an awkward interview with NBC host Seth Meyers on Tuesday, with much of the conversation focused on McCain’s past comments about Democratic Congresswoman Ilhan Omar.
McCain drew criticism after appearing on the This Week program with George Stephanopoulos just one day after the April 27 Chabad of Poway synagogue shooting in San Diego. She brought up Omar’s criticism of the pro-Israel lobby in the U.S. when discussing the synagogue attack.
"When we’re having conversations about anti-Semitism, we should be looking at the most extreme on both sides," McCain said on This Week. "I would bring up Congresswoman Ilhan Omar and some of her comments that got so much attention, and in my opinion Nancy Pelosi wasn't harsh enough on her for trafficking in anti-Semitic language, talking about ‘All about the Benjamins’ and how Jewish people had ‘hypnotized’ the world.”
On Tuesday, Meyers put it to McCain that linking criticism of the pro-Israel lobby in America to anti-Semitic violence was irresponsible, Mediaite reported. “I do think it’s fairly dangerous, and you brought it up after Congresswoman Omar had also had some death threats against her,” he said.
McCain’s public persona really does suggest that she could be the Princess of Arizona, and nothing has been more apt as far as describing why she needs to join her husband at The Federalist and write unhinged rants all day long about Democrats who live their lives like everyone else.
The Senator’s daughter illustrates perfectly why there are laws against nepotism and why using a dead man’s reputation to stake out the high ground when it comes to moral superiority is a bad business strategy. I don’t see where she has any experience, ability, or talent, but she does explode right on cue while on television.
It was a fantastic trick that John McCain pulled on the American media complex. Universally dismissed as a Senator, he ingratiated himself with media personalities who were gullible and could be manipulated and they, in turn, created a nonsensical place for him as America’s Maverick Truth Teller. Nothing could be further from the truth. McCain whored himself out to every conservative special interest that would pay him. He was a reliable cog in the GOP’s Senate machine, casting one admirable vote out of thousands.
I think it’s safe to say that we ignore Meghan.
Saturday, April 20, 2019
If you were hoping for a pause of the insanity of having a sitting president who is compromised by the Russians and can’t stop obstructing justice, then this is not your weekend.
Who in their right mind would be seen in public with Trump after the release of the Mueller Report? Well, now you have your answer—Rush Limbaugh, of course, and I suppose Sean Hannity and Lou Dobbs are wondering what they did wrong.
To mount a full-throated defense of the indefensible is to divorce yourself from facts and reality with regards to Trump. Your garden variety publicist would be of two minds here—one, you could avoid the most toxic figure in America and maintain a low profile. Two, you could be seen as supportive and friendly, but risk being tarnished by association.
Whoever advised golfer Lexi Thompson to appear in a photograph with this president and one of the most venal conservatives in American history should be fired:
It’s a fact that Trump and Limbaugh have larger breasts than this young, athletic woman. I’m not sure what kind of a hot take that is, but it is factually correct.
The cult of Trump is all in, baby, all in. They don’t care what “voters” think because they know their Russian friends can bail them out of tight races. They don’t care what the serfs have to say about a damned thing. They have one constituency, and it’s a pitifully small group of oligarchs in Russia and the United States who are going to spend the next twenty-one months on this Earth stealing everything that they can get their hands on.
I had a bunch of tubby jokes, but fat shaming these men is impossible.
They don’t know what shame is anymore. They blunder through life, fucking everything up, and they can’t be bothered with how it looks. Someone else will repair the ruins. They know a Democrat will be elected in 2020, and that president will spend 8 years fixing everything they’ve broken. And then we’ll do it all over again because Americans never seem to learn the truth about Republicans, do they?
Saturday, March 2, 2019
I will never figure out how Prince William ended up with absolutely the most interesting woman in all of Great Britain. Think of who he might have ended up with. When the old royals are finally gone, and we’re left with these two, they’ll be hilarious and drunk all the time, but in a good way.
Saturday, February 16, 2019
The New York Times magazine has an incredible and detailed piece about Meg Ryan, and where she is at today.
Friday, January 25, 2019
I get that if you are a fan of the comic book series Morbius you are going to explode with rage at the banality of my lame take on this, but how is this even remotely a good idea?
“Safe House” director Daniel Espinosa will helm the movie. Exact details of who Smith would play are unknown at this time, other than it being a major role in the film.
Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless, who co-created the Netflix series “Lost in Space,” penned the script. Avi Arad and Matt Tolmach are producing “Morbius” with Lucas Foster. Palak Patel will oversee the pic for Sony.
Writer Roy Thomas and artist Gil Kane created Morbius in 1971 for “The Amazing Spider-Man #101.” The character was a scientist who tried to cure himself of a blood disease, with tragic results. He became afflicted with vampiric traits such as fangs and a thirst for blood — and wound up battling Spider-Man.
So, it’s like the movie Venom, which didn’t do that well, and it has Jared Leto, who tried to be the Joker and feel sort of flat with that, and we’re making another superhero film starring men again? A film about an obscure villain character that looks weird?
This is after determining that when women get better roles in these films they tend to be more successful? Like what just happened in Aquaman? And, in the case of Wonder Woman, when the lead of the story is a female, the movie tends to have artistic merit as well?
The female characters were central to the success of Black Panther as well. And I think the chief criticism of Ant Man and The Wasp was that there wasn’t enough Evangeline Lilly, correct?
Monday, December 31, 2018
I have noticed that the British tabloid press has decided that it will be profitable (and fun!) to destroy Meghan Markle for the crime of being an interesting American woman who happens to be married to Prince Harry.
The press are being aided and abetted in this noble endeavor by those inside of the Royal family’s immense staff who wish to make trouble for the newlyweds. While the world burns down all around us, they have decided that this will be the seasonal fun of the English people. They will make humans miserable in order to have their old pecking order back the way it was when Harry was a single man.
Not sure if this is going to work out the way people expect it will. First, they could end up driving the couple out of the country. They could live anywhere, but I’m guessing they will move to California and have a non-traditional life, which is probably what they want to have happen in the first place. I mean, you could live in Malibu, or fucking London, and deal with wonderful weather and mildly amusing people or the hell of the British tabloid press and the shit sandwich that is the way of life they see right now. Grandma isn’t dying any time soon and who wants to live under the batty King Charles when it happens?
Second, they could end up accomplishing nothing because, at the end of the day, Princes William and Harry have a plan in place, and that plan will be to quietly turn the Royal family into something similar to what they have in Scandinavia when their Grandmother and Father are dead. They have no stomach for what was done to their mother which, to me, looks very similar to what’s being done to Meghan. Scores need to be settled, and these two young men have always looked ready to bury some knives in the backs of the people who carried out so many awful schemes against Princess Diana.
Third, this is all bullshit being done to sell “clicks” or papers in a country that is being torn into pieces by Russian trolls, right wing zealots, and actual fucking racist trash. You’d think the press would be more obsessed with what Brexit will do rather than an American princess, but how the hell does that sell anything to anyone?
I have always thought that William and Harry have a pact, and that they will unleash a hellish purge of the people who were behind the demonization of their mother. If those same people are trying to destroy the marriage of the youngest prince, God help them when the funerals are over.
Sunday, December 30, 2018
Thursday, December 13, 2018
Hugh Jackman was born to host the Oscars. But because Hollywood is terminally stupid, no one realizes that he should be named the permanent host of the ceremony and basically given the whole damned thing outright.
Thursday, December 6, 2018
Kevin Hart should be given a chance to apologize for what he wrote on Twitter and then delete those offending “jokes.”
What we have going on here is an effort to hold people accountable for things that happened nearly ten years ago on a platform that was never supposed to be an authoritative archive of insensitive stupid shit.
Hart’s comments (some of which are depicted above) come with date stamps that clearly show that he was playing around in the early days of Twitter with offensive material designed to increase the number of people following him and gain some laughs from people who should have clearly known better. Why there wasn’t anyone around helping Hart clean up his act is beyond comprehension.
But, here’s the thing—you shouldn’t use this terrible material against him in the present day, not unless you give him a chance to atone and clean it up. I watched what happened with James Gunn and I realized what the scam was here. This is how conservative trolls take people down and it’s wrong.
Condemnation for Hart is fine. But give him a chance to make it right.
He had his chance. Fuck him.
And that’s the end of that. ‘Bye, bitch:
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
NBC News anchor Megyn Kelly issued an apology Tuesday for her comments earlier in the day questioning why it is considered racist for white people to wear blackface on Halloween.
In an email sent to colleagues released by NBC News, Kelly said she had taken the time to listen to other points of view on the topic.
"I realize now that such behavior is indeed wrong, and I am sorry," Kelly wrote. "The history of blackface in our culture is abhorrent; the wounds too deep."
In the roundtable segment during the 9:00 Hour on "Megyn Kelly TODAY," which dealt with inappropriate or offensive Halloween costumes, Kelly asked her panelists “what is racist” about white people wearing blackface during Halloween. Kelly went on to say that wearing blackface was considered OK when she was a kid “as long you were dressing up as a character.”
She also defended reality TV star Luann de Lesseps, who darkened her skin for her Diana Ross costume in 2017.
Jon Stewart blasted Fox News' Megyn Kelly on "The Daily Show" Thursday night, after she had commented Wednesdaythat it was a "verifiable fact" that Santa Claus is white.
The traditional "War on Christmas" is getting weirder this year, Stewart said.
Getting to the heart of his criticism, Stewart explained that the historical character on whom Santa is based, St. Nicholas, was born in a part of the world that is now Turkey. Scientists say, based on research commissioned by the Vatican, that he actually has a darker skin pigmentation than his commercial image.
"My guess is that there'd be no Christmas if he looked like that dude, because he's probably still on the no-fly list," Stewart said.
Stewart also took on Kelly's assertion that Jesus was white.
"You do know that Jesus wasn't born in Bethlehem, Penn., right?" he quipped.
To be fair, Jon Stewart has only warned us about all of the people on Fox News, the entire Republican Party, and Fuckface Von Clownstick. It’s not like people didn’t know who she was, what she believed, and that she was willing to lie about it so she could get away with it and keep her job, right?
NBC, what in the ever-loving hell? You have a golden opportunity right now to shed yourself of this Megyn Kelly problem of yours. Get on with it already.
Thursday, October 4, 2018
Where are all of the other celebrities who care about a woman’s right to choose? About holding Trump accountable? About putting people ahead of corporations?
Confirming Kavanaugh means the rights of the American people will be under siege starting on day one. Why doesn’t anyone get this?
Tuesday, September 11, 2018
“Who would have thought the most boring part of this whole thing would have been the fucking?”
Maggie Gyllenhaal’s prostitute turned adult filmmaker gets the line of the episode in Sunday night’s season two premiere of The Deuce, the ‘70s-set look at the sex workers and vagrants populating Times Square from The Wire’s David Simon and George Pelecanos.
The quip doubles as a keen mission statement for a subtle, culturally mandated redirection in the series’ new season. To continue to merely titillate, scandalize, or expose the seediness of the sex industry, no matter what truths or humanities are revealed along the way, would be mundane to the point of problematic.
This is a season that centers around female sex workers finding their agency, learning that they have a right to be protected, discovering their worth, and taking control of their rights and bodies.
It’s a slight shift. Season one of the series was always headed in this direction, but season two accelerates down that path with showy purpose. And, despite his continued presence and entertaining dual performance as brothers Vincent and Frankie, you can’t help but suspect that the person—or at least the story—The Deuce is speeding away from is James Franco.
When The Sopranos appeared, it was actual adult entertainment for thinking people. It wasn’t just the sex and violence; it was the thinking that went into how the sex and the violence were used to tell the story. The same thing can be said of Breaking Bad and whatever else you like, but there is a real absence of television for thinking adults.
Anywhere you find David Simon, prepare to use your brain. My brain tells me James Franco probably isn’t going to make it to a third season, if it happens at all.
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
Chris Hardwick has his gig back, and James Gunn is still out as director of Guardians of the Galaxy 3.
That's where we are right now. Someone can be credibly accused of sexual assault, and get back in front of a camera. A guy gets caught by some Gamergate losers making jokes a decade ago--and doesn't actually hurt someone physically--and he's unable to sit in a director's chair.
Fuck you, Hollywood. You're full of bullshit.
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
If Rami Malek can pull this off, he deserves an Oscar. He deserves ALL the awards.
I never thought that they could make a movie about Freddie Mercury because how the hell do you portray someone so iconic? How would you make a movie about David Bowie or Prince? Who on Earth could play those guys and not pale in comparison to what we had in real life? I don't think anyone has ever done Elvis justice, either.
Writer and producer Bryan Fuller is accusing 20th Century Fox of “hetero-washing” the story of Queen frontman Freddie Mercury in a new trailer and marketing materials for the biopic “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
“Anyone else mildly annoyed … that the #BohemianRhapsody trailer features gay/bi superstar Freddie Mercury flirting with and twirling with a woman but no indication of his love of men?” Fuller tweeted on Tuesday after the clip hit the web.
The footage shows actress Lucy Boynton staring longingly at star Rami Malek as Mercury, also leaping into his arms. Boynton plays Mary Austin, who some credit as Mercury’s muse but is not well known in pop culture. The trailer also features a young man coming on to Malek’s Mercury in a recording studio, but it’s blink-and-miss.
You can't judge a movie based on watching the trailer, but why should that stop anyone, right? Who knows what the film really deals with? And, honestly, this could be one of the greatest performances ever if Malek can convince people he's Freddie. Enjoy it! Don't bitch at it.
Monday, April 23, 2018
It is because I am a naive boy who was raised on the Minnesota prairie that I did not know that one could aspire to the job of "sex tape lawyer."
I knew there were lawyers, of course, and I knew that if you went to college and then law school, you could practice law anywhere in the country. Anywhere in the world, maybe, although being a lawyer amongst people who don't care about the law is a worthless endeavor.
Did you grow up wanting to be a sex tape lawyer? Was there a void in your life? A need for titillation? I don't want to judge, but becoming a lawyer who specializes in the litigation of who owns what when it comes to a sex tape is like throwing away good talent and hard work. What did you do to get to the top of that industry? Where did you advertise? Who did you have to con in order to make it big?
Come on, spill it. You have to have people with specific legal needs, the money to transact between each other, and a surfeit of sex tapes that will allow you to be the litigator you always wanted to be, a lawyer who handles the legal ramifications of sex tapes.
Pretty good gig, I suppose. You could make millions. That's all that matters today.
Now, go away.
Who are these horrible shits? These terrible people with no morals and a mastery of the ins and outs of the laws surrounding people who film themselves having sex with others who don't necessarily know (wink, wink) they are being filmed for prurient reasons?
Who injected these foul, misbegotten garbage can people into our politics and our discourse? We are not supposed to have to explain to ourselves how this goes on. I'm not some moral prude. I don't care if Bill Clinton got a blowjob. I would expect that he would have been a bit more careful about it, but okay.
But this? These people around Trump?
Why, they're the equivalent of a massive ball of fat, lard and shit coagulated in the pipes below London Town. They're holding back the flow of the rest of the sewage we don't want to live in, the flow that takes it to the treatment plant and cleans it up as it should be sanitized and handled.
Your taxes pay for that service. But the people around Trump are wasting our time, frittering away our money, and letting their personal immorality get in the way of solving real problems. God, just fuck these people for being so unpalatable and rancid in the way that they do things. What a waste, seeing these sex tape lawyers go at it like starving hyenas.