Showing posts with label Discourse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Discourse. Show all posts

Monday, April 23, 2018

Sex Tape Lawyer




It is because I am a naive boy who was raised on the Minnesota prairie that I did not know that one could aspire to the job of "sex tape lawyer."

I knew there were lawyers, of course, and I knew that if you went to college and then law school, you could practice law anywhere in the country. Anywhere in the world, maybe, although being a lawyer amongst people who don't care about the law is a worthless endeavor.

Did you grow up wanting to be a sex tape lawyer? Was there a void in your life? A need for titillation? I don't want to judge, but becoming a lawyer who specializes in the litigation of who owns what when it comes to a sex tape is like throwing away good talent and hard work. What did you do to get to the top of that industry? Where did you advertise? Who did you have to con in order to make it big?

Come on, spill it.  You have to have people with specific legal needs, the money to transact between each other, and a surfeit of sex tapes that will allow you to be the litigator you always wanted to be, a lawyer who handles the legal ramifications of sex tapes.

Pretty good gig, I suppose. You could make millions. That's all that matters today.

Now, go away.

Who are these horrible shits? These terrible people with no morals and a mastery of the ins and outs of the laws surrounding people who film themselves having sex with others who don't necessarily know (wink, wink) they are being filmed for prurient reasons?

Who injected these foul, misbegotten garbage can people into our politics and our discourse? We are not supposed to have to explain to ourselves how this goes on. I'm not some moral prude. I don't care if Bill Clinton got a blowjob. I would expect that he would have been a bit more careful about it, but okay. 

But this? These people around Trump?

Why, they're the equivalent of a massive ball of fat, lard and shit coagulated in the pipes below London Town. They're holding back the flow of the rest of the sewage we don't want to live in, the flow that takes it to the treatment plant and cleans it up as it should be sanitized and handled. 

Your taxes pay for that service. But the people around Trump are wasting our time, frittering away our money, and letting their personal immorality get in the way of solving real problems. God, just fuck these people for being so unpalatable and rancid in the way that they do things. What a waste, seeing these sex tape lawyers go at it like starving hyenas.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Trump Orders Mother With Screaming Baby to Leave




It's impossible to keep up with this asshole:

Donald Trump asked a woman with a crying baby to leave his rally in Ashburn, Virginia on Tuesday.

“Don’t worry about that baby. I love babies," Trump said after hearing the baby crying during an aside about the trade imbalance. "Don’t worry about it. I love babies. I hear that baby crying, I like it. What a baby. What a beautiful baby. Don’t worry, don’t worry. The mom’s running around like—don’t worry about it, you know. It’s young and beautiful and healthy and that’s what we want.”

Trump then returned to his non-baby-related remarks, only to hear the baby make more noise.

“They have ripped us to shreds, ripped us absolutely to shreds," Trump said of China, before turning back to the woman with the child.

“Actually, I was only kidding, you can get the baby out of here," the Republican nominee said to laughter and applause. "That’s all right. Don’t worry. I, I think she really believed me that I love having a baby crying while I’m speaking. That’s OK. People don’t understand. That’s OK."

No word on whether or not Trump's thugs roughed up the mother or took any candy from the baby.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Someone Burped Up a Pleasantry




Does that sound racist to you? Does he think I'm an African-American? I don't understand the whole reference to "your people" as having anything other than a patronizing tone. 

Sad, but so ridiculously unhinged as to not warrant further commentary.












Friday, May 6, 2016

I Cannot Win Friends or Influence People

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="417.0"]  They seem like such nice chaps and I'm interested in America so what could possibly go wrong?  They seem like such nice chaps and I'm interested in America so what could possibly go wrong? [/caption]


You would think a happy fellow like me could just wander onto some website and start making friends. You would be wrong:

The state of our union can be summed up pretty easily: Democratic policy ideas don’t work, and the Republican Party is melting down. From New York state, where Democratic power brokers are beginning to be herded into prison, where so many of them belong, to Chicago, where a civil war between Democrat-run public unions and the Democratic mayor rages even as the city’s finances fall apart, to the collapsing cities of Detroit and Flint, and on out to the high-speed rail boondoggle in California, the country is covered in the ruins of decades of “progressive” governance. Take Obamacare itself, a “reform” that is already making health care more bureaucratic and less affordable. Even as premiums and deductibles rise and the provider networks shrink, special interests like labor unions, insurance companies and hospital chains seek to rewrite its rules and regulations to achieve windfalls for themselves at the public expense. They will almost certainly succeed, and over time, Obamacare like other programs will become increasingly encrusted by sweetheart deals, carve-outs and other provisions that reduce its positive qualities while making it ever more expensive and bureaucratic.

Inadvertently, I wandered onto a site that would make the John Birch society look like a meeting of the San Francisco Committee on Handing Out Things to the Homeless. Damn, son--why do I keep trying?

"Up until now, at every similar crisis in American history, a wave of religious revival like the colonial-era Great Awakening, the Kentucky Revivals of the early Republic, and a series of successor movements has renewed and refreshed this source of national coherence and strength. Without something like this today, it’s not clear that American culture will continue to support the kind of republic that we’ve come to think of as eternal and unchanging."

So, I said:

This would be the same religious fervor that allowed us to destroy the South and free millions from slavery, right?

Seriously, though--religion is going to cure us of what ails us? Please. What will cure us are more jobs, reducing the deficit, and keeping us out of foreign wars of choice. In other words, another eight years of President Obama. Fools.

And I know I'm not helpful, but you seem like such nice chaps.

All I have to do is shut up and keep moving. And yet, I can't help myself.

Friday, April 29, 2016

How Could Anyone Get Violent at a Trump Rally?




The question here is, why doesn't this happen every minute of every day and why don't these people save us the trouble and just punch themselves in the face?

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

You Can't Fight City Hall




People like to think they can make a difference:

Human
waste dumped

A bag of human waste was reported dumped at 2:50 p.m. Monday at Albert Lea City Hall. The incident reportedly happened shortly before 10 a.m.

I don't want to make a wild guess, but I think it was someone who is unhappy with the current direction of the city as a whole and probably not someone who set down their bag of human waste and forgot it.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Shaddup




No one ever considers this possibility--what if they were horrible singers and the cop was just trying to spare everyone else?

A group of North Carolina middle-schoolers were allegedly told by security guards at the 9/11 Memorial in New York City to stop singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” during a Friday visit. According to the kids’ teacher, the New York Post reported Monday, the guards implored the students to cease singing because it would be considered a “public demonstration,” something that requires a permit at the site of the 2001 attacks. Video of the truncated anthem shows the choir of wide-eyed kids singing before security guards interrupt and begin speaking with the music teacher, identified as Martha Brown.

I mean, damn, son. Middle schoolers can't sing. And whatever happened to showing reverence? It's not about you, after all. It's about something else sometimes.

Friday, January 8, 2016

Allen West Just Threatened the President of the United States




Read it for yourself:

We the American people have no other recourse than to resort to civil disobedience. We have no representatives in Washington DC who will stand and the Supreme Court has failed us as well.


You have embraced violent protest movements in America such as Occupy Wall Street and Black Lives Matter. We are not lowering ourselves to that despicable progressive socialist “rules for radicals” model.


We, the people, are just telling you “No.” We will now be sending you emails and social media posts as well as calling OUR White House to say one word, “No.”
And if you persist and take the same course of action as Xerxes, we will give you a two-word response, Molon Labe.


This is your final year as president of the United States so let us come to an agreement: you leave us alone and we, the American people, will let you stay and finish your term.

That's a clear threat. It's impossible to miss the implied threat contained in that statement. And while it is typical of the overheated rhetoric around guns and gun control, it's amazing to read such things from a man who served in the United States Congress. This is not just some nut with a website. This is a man collecting a pension from military service and his term in office. He's as far on the teat as you can get and he still says such things? Wow.

I think the Army should call him back to active duty and review these statements. West should be subjected to UCMJ action. And, as if this needs to be said, he is mentally ill if this is what he truly believes. I suspect that, once questioned, West would plead innocence and claim it was all being done in order to raise funds or something along those lines.

Monday, May 4, 2015

Racism is Insane







I like what Paul Krugman is getting at here:






“It has been disheartening to see some commentators still writing as if poverty were simply a matter of values, as if the poor just mysteriously make bad choices and all would be well if they adopted middle-class values. Maybe, just maybe, that was a sustainable argument four decades ago, but at this point it should be obvious that middle-class values only flourish in an economy that offers middle-class jobs.”

— The New York Times, Paul Krugman





It's nearly impossible for anyone to end up in a middle-class lifestyle when the city in which they live has been systematically dismantled in favor of tourism and suburban expansion. And that is what defines Baltimore--there's plenty to do downtown, but don't even think about living inside of the Baltimore beltway. 


For me, it comes down to tolerating a level of racism that isn't going to be sustainable anymore. There are plenty of poor whites in Baltimore, as well as a host of other ethnic groups. Their plight--and the plight of the African-American community--can be laid at the door of the idea that Baltimore can function as a downtown tourist trap with a great retail and eating district by the waterfront and nothing else. It's a city with tremendous potential that made terrible choices decades ago. 


For me, it begins with the idea that we should stop thinking poor people are the problem. They're the result of bad policies and not values or choices.


Couple all that with the crippling war on drugs and the dismantling of the police department, and you have what you have today--a dysfunctional city with enormous potential. Someone has to run the city in the right direction. Someone has to find a way to police the city without terrorizing the people being served. Someone has to run towards building middle-class jobs in areas that are falling apart. Some measure of political compromise and pragmatism is needed, but how are you going to convince people to stop feeding off of the enormous carcass that is the spoils system?


How do you get people to abandon the insanity of racism and embrace doing the right thing for the greater good? How do you reconcile deal making with solving problems for everyone?


Someone legitimate to the governing of Baltimore--and that means someone who isn't walking around with a billion dollars or a host of bought-and-paid-for lackeys--has to step up. There's a real moment here where people who haven't been hitting it out of the park have to find the strength to go long. It doesn't matter what they look like. But someone has to step up and do the job of fixing the city without ramming cash into their pants.


The media will try to destroy them of course. After all, that makes for a better story.


Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The Republicans Are Out of Ideas and Scared of Facts




Hilarious shit.

This is worthy of the Onion:

The official website for House Republicans has posted on YouTube a doctored version of President Obama’s State of the Union address which cuts out comments where the President was critical of Republican rhetoric on climate change, ThinkProgress has learned.


In the website’s “enhanced webcast” of the State of the Union speech, President Obama’s comments criticizing Republicans for saying they are “not scientists” when it comes to climate change are erased.

At the 43:25 minute mark, President Obama is supposed to say “I’ve heard some folks try to dodge the evidence by saying they’re not scientists; that we don’t have enough information to act. Well, I’m not a scientist, either. But you know what — I know a lot of really good scientists at NASA, and NOAA, and at our major universities. The best scientists in the world are all telling us that our activities are changing the climate, and if we do not act forcefully, we’ll continue to see rising oceans, longer, hotter heat waves, dangerous droughts and floods, and massive disruptions that can trigger greater migration, conflict, and hunger around the globe.”


You couldn't make this up if you wanted to. Real life is now the best parody of all.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Ben Edelman and Slanty Eyed Chinese Food Menus




This is what "lawyer" Ben Edelman said to the owner of the Chinese restaurant that he harassed earlier this year.

And no, there are no words for this kind of discourse in American society. This is what happens when you eliminate ethics from everyday life--you say whatever you want because there are no repercussions for it. Edelman won't be fired, disbarred or anything, I would imagine, because he has mastered the law as a tool for furthering his own pathologies.

I mean, wow.

Wow.

Modern Life is a Nightmare




Ben Edelman is a Harvard-educated lawyer who found out that he was overcharged for Chinese takeout. He became enraged, in only the way that a lawyer can, and terrorized the owner of the Chinese restaurant that made the mistake of trying to have a website online and survive.

We can't let one complete and utter asshole ruin everything, can we?




Follow the link to go read the whole thing. It is the use of the law to terrorize an establishment over a pithy amount. We're not talking about a whole lot of money, and we are talking about principles, but, wow.

Ben Edelman's talents seem to be honed in a way that would make him a sociopath or worse. This kind of behavior is an indicator of other very special things and I would hope that this case would inform everyone's thinking about not to deal with others.