Monday, December 31, 2018

The Perils of Being Royal




I have noticed that the British tabloid press has decided that it will be profitable (and fun!) to destroy Meghan Markle for the crime of being an interesting American woman who happens to be married to Prince Harry.

The press are being aided and abetted in this noble endeavor by those inside of the Royal family’s immense staff who wish to make trouble for the newlyweds. While the world burns down all around us, they have decided that this will be the seasonal fun of the English people. They will make humans miserable in order to have their old pecking order back the way it was when Harry was a single man.

Not sure if this is going to work out the way people expect it will. First, they could end up driving the couple out of the country. They could live anywhere, but I’m guessing they will move to California and have a non-traditional life, which is probably what they want to have happen in the first place. I mean, you could live in Malibu, or fucking London, and deal with wonderful weather and mildly amusing people or the hell of the British tabloid press and the shit sandwich that is the way of life they see right now. Grandma isn’t dying any time soon and who wants to live under the batty King Charles when it happens?

Second, they could end up accomplishing nothing because, at the end of the day, Princes William and Harry have a plan in place, and that plan will be to quietly turn the Royal family into something similar to what they have in Scandinavia when their Grandmother and Father are dead. They have no stomach for what was done to their mother which, to me, looks very similar to what’s being done to Meghan. Scores need to be settled, and these two young men have always looked ready to bury some knives in the backs of the people who carried out so many awful schemes against Princess Diana.

Third, this is all bullshit being done to sell “clicks” or papers in a country that is being torn into pieces by Russian trolls, right wing zealots, and actual fucking racist trash. You’d think the press would be more obsessed with what Brexit will do rather than an American princess, but how the hell does that sell anything to anyone?

I have always thought that William and Harry have a pact, and that they will unleash a hellish purge of the people who were behind the demonization of their mother. If those same people are trying to destroy the marriage of the youngest prince, God help them when the funerals are over.

Sunday, December 30, 2018

Gaslight




Oh, does this represent what’s happening in America right now? What’s been happening for the last several years? I just thought it was appropriate.

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Hugh Jackman, Oscar Host




Hugh Jackman was born to host the Oscars. But because Hollywood is terminally stupid, no one realizes that he should be named the permanent host of the ceremony and basically given the whole damned thing outright.

You’re welcome.

Friday, December 7, 2018

Priyanka Chopra




People should be allowed to get married and not have to put up with any of this crap:

Indians on social media are rallying behind Bollywood star Priyanka Chopra after an American website article called her a "scam artist".

The article in The Cut, which has now been taken down, sparked outrage for suggesting that she had trapped US singer Nick Jonas into marrying her to further her career.

Indians, many of whom were earlier disparaging about the wedding, have now jumped to defend her.

Many said the article was racist.

In a way, the piece has marked a turning point in the entire saga of the couple in India - from feeling very much "over it" when it came to wedding updates, there is now a rush to defend Chopra.

Mr. Jonas is marrying up in the world, and let’s leave it at that. There is endemic racism everywhere, and we saw that in relation to what happened with Meagan Markle and with pretty much every other high profile female celebrity who is not white, so why does this have to be restated, over and over again? Leave people the hell alone.

Thursday, December 6, 2018

The Awful Things We Write on Twitter




Kevin Hart should be given a chance to apologize for what he wrote on Twitter and then delete those offending “jokes.”

What we have going on here is an effort to hold people accountable for things that happened nearly ten years ago on a platform that was never supposed to be an authoritative archive of insensitive stupid shit.

Hart’s comments (some of which are depicted above) come with date stamps that clearly show that he was playing around in the early days of Twitter with offensive material designed to increase the number of people following him and gain some laughs from people who should have clearly known better. Why there wasn’t anyone around helping Hart clean up his act is beyond comprehension.

But, here’s the thing—you shouldn’t use this terrible material against him in the present day, not unless you give him a chance to atone and clean it up. I watched what happened with James Gunn and I realized what the scam was here. This is how conservative trolls take people down and it’s wrong.

Condemnation for Hart is fine. But give him a chance to make it right.

UPDATE:

He had his chance. Fuck him.

And that’s the end of that. ‘Bye, bitch:

No More Heroes Anymore




The allegations against Neil Degrasse Tyson are disturbing enough to warrant an investigation. This article seems to lay the groundwork for assessing the credibility of the women who have accused him:

“Hi there. I just wanted to reach out [to] say that I BELIEVE YOU about Neil deGrasse Tyson,” Watson wrote on Aug. 23.

On Thursday, Watson’s allegations were made public on a blog called Patheos, which had previously published Amet’s claims, twice. The new story also described a third woman, Katelyn Allers, an astronomy and physics professor at Bucknell University, who said Tyson had grabbed her and reached down the front of her dress to look at her tattoo at a scientific meeting in 2009.

With three women now making allegations on the record, the Patheos article spread far and wide, prompting Fox Broadcasting Company, which produces the show, and National Geographic, which airs it, to announce an official investigation. A spokesperson for the American Museum of Natural History in New York City, where Tyson has led the Hayden Planetarium for over 20 years, said that it has never received a complaint about him, but was also looking into the allegations. On Saturday, Tyson released a 1,600-word statement on Facebook, confirming many of the details of Watson’s and Allers’ allegations, and apologizing for what he deemed clumsy displays of affection that had been misunderstood.

It’s a powerful article, and this issues deserves the attention it is getting. No one should be excused for their behavior, and celebrity status does not mean you can just wave away accusations like this. So far, Tyson has appeared to be forthcoming and welcoming of scrutiny. What happens next is something that should be carefully appraised and handled like any other case.

I can’t help but feel like there are no heroes anymore, just a lot of flawed people who behaved badly years ago.

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Abigail Spanberger is Having None of This




Do not mess with Abigail Spanberger:

The campaign of Democratic challenger Abigail Spanberger announced on Thursday that it had discovered and removed an operative for James O’Keefe’s Project Veritas who had posed as a volunteer and infiltrated its staff.

The operative, who went by the name Monica Nelson, appears to have been Marisa Jorge, a New York-based official who has been previously exposed after embedding with other political campaigns. Justin Jones, Spanberger’s communications director, said that Nelson had been on the campaign as a volunteer for several weeks. She had shown up at the offices with the appearance of being pregnant and said she was bored at home and wanted to help out.

The campaign, which has an estimated 5,500 volunteers, brought her on board.

Jones said that others began to suspect that Nelson was working undercover when she kept peppering junior level staff members with mundane questions about where Spanberger stood on certain policy topics. Those questions appeared designed in a way to get an answer that contradicted Spanberger’s public positions. Nelson has also emailed staffers asking to get some time along with Spanberger, saying, in part, that the candidate, a former CIA agent, was a “role model” because she was “a mother of 3 all while running for political office.”

When they determined that Nelson was actually Jorge—by, among other things, asking her about her nonexistent social media presence—staffers asked her to leave. She did, Jones said. But instead of getting into a car, she walked about a half mile down a busy road and ran swiftly across traffic in order to evade campaign workers who had been walking with her to see where she would go. 

“Dirty tricks like these are the worst part of politics, and this is exactly what Abigail is running to change,” said Dana Bye, Spanberger’s campaign manager. “While others may scrape the bottom of the barrel out of desperation, Abigail and our campaign will remain focused on talking to our neighbors on their doorsteps about the issues that matter to our community—that’s the campaign voters deserve and it’s the campaign that we believe will carry us to victory.”

Spanberger, as you recall, has been down this road before. The dirty tricks that Dave Brat’s supporters have used against her are intolerable. She was the victim of gross negligence on the part of the US Postal Service, which, if you’re using logic, shouldn’t be doing anything political or nefarious to begin with. They released her personal information, without proper redaction, and called it an oopsy mistakey wakey. But, seriously—if you’re working for the Postal Service, why would you try to keep any Republican in office, given what they’ve done to destroy the budgets of all Federal agencies?

Why would anyone tolerate this bullshit? Oh, that’s right. Someone is clinging to power.

Well, Spanberger isn’t having it, and one can only hope that charges can be filed against James O’Keefe and his pathetic supporters.

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Megyn Kelly is Racist Trash




Megyn Kelly should be fired for her comments because she is a disaster that continues to happen:

NBC News anchor Megyn Kelly issued an apology Tuesday for her comments earlier in the day questioning why it is considered racist for white people to wear blackface on Halloween.

In an email sent to colleagues released by NBC News, Kelly said she had taken the time to listen to other points of view on the topic.

"I realize now that such behavior is indeed wrong, and I am sorry," Kelly wrote. "The history of blackface in our culture is abhorrent; the wounds too deep."

In the roundtable segment during the 9:00 Hour on "Megyn Kelly TODAY," which dealt with inappropriate or offensive Halloween costumes, Kelly asked her panelists “what is racist” about white people wearing blackface during Halloween. Kelly went on to say that wearing blackface was considered OK when she was a kid “as long you were dressing up as a character.”

She also defended reality TV star Luann de Lesseps, who darkened her skin for her Diana Ross costume in 2017.

It’s not like we didn’t already know she was racist to begin with:

Jon Stewart blasted Fox News' Megyn Kelly on "The Daily Show" Thursday night, after she had commented Wednesdaythat it was a "verifiable fact" that Santa Claus is white. 

The traditional "War on Christmas" is getting weirder this year, Stewart said. 

Getting to the heart of his criticism, Stewart explained that the historical character on whom Santa is based, St. Nicholas, was born in a part of the world that is now Turkey. Scientists say, based on research commissioned by the Vatican, that he actually has a darker skin pigmentation than his commercial image. 

"My guess is that there'd be no Christmas if he looked like that dude, because he's probably still on the no-fly list," Stewart said. 

Stewart also took on Kelly's assertion that Jesus was white. 

"You do know that Jesus wasn't born in Bethlehem, Penn., right?" he quipped.

To be fair, Jon Stewart has only warned us about all of the people on Fox News, the entire Republican Party, and Fuckface Von Clownstick. It’s not like people didn’t know who she was, what she believed, and that she was willing to lie about it so she could get away with it and keep her job, right?

NBC, what in the ever-loving hell? You have a golden opportunity right now to shed yourself of this Megyn Kelly problem of yours. Get on with it already.

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

This is the Smartest Move Yet


No one is more deserving of a second chance than James Gunn, who shouldn’t even have been fired from his job because alt-right trolls shouldn’t be getting anyone fired, dammit.

Warner Bros. have reportedly hired former Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn following his departure from the franchise.


Gunn is a proven commodity. He took the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise into the nether reaches and actually made films worth watching. They aren’t exactly my thing, but the heart and soul of these movies resides in the right place, and a weirdo like Gunn being given a second chance is a good thing. Yes, he said horrible things. He has paid the price for that and he deserves a shot.
From a business perspective, hiring him to make a Suicide Squad movie is a brilliant way to check the unstoppable growth of Marvel Inc.

Thursday, October 4, 2018

This is How You Use Your Celebrity For Good




Amy Schumer gets what this is about.

Where are all of the other celebrities who care about a woman’s right to choose? About holding Trump accountable? About putting people ahead of corporations?

Confirming Kavanaugh means the rights of the American people will be under siege starting on day one. Why doesn’t anyone get this?

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

No, No We Don't Answer That




There is no contrition on the part of Bill Cosby. He imagines himself Jesus, and he has a view of himself that believes he is being persecuted so he can maintain the air of superiority that a PhD used to provide:

Bill Cosby was sentenced to several years in prison on Tuesday for sexually assaulting a woman over a decade ago. 

Judge Steven O’Neill gave Cosby, 81, a sentence of between three and 10 years in prison for attacking Andrea Constand in 2004. Constand is one of more than 60 women who have accused the previously beloved comedian of preying on them over the past five decades.

The real tragedy is that this didn’t happen fifty years ago when it really would have taken a bite out of the quality of his life and prevented many more victims from having to experience what it was like to be drugged and raped.

It all started four years ago:






Camille Cosby smiles, uncomfortably shifting in her chair. Staring off camera, switching positions, silent. In the latest contribution to the Bill Cosby saga, we see husband and wife side by side as he addresses the very act of questioning about his numerous rape allegations in an AP interview (above). Mrs. Cosby continues to smile and looks away from the reporter several times, both she and her husband presuming that the cameras have stopped rolling. I will not read into her silence. I will not pull meaning about this woman and her thoughts and decisions other than to say that in the watching, the silence is palpable, wince-inducing and profoundly painful.

That exchange highlights the most meaningful currency in this 30+ year long drama that is just now seeing its climax unfold on the public stage: silence. At every turn, it is the silence that serves as a proxy for power in the story of Bill Cosby, his alleged sexual deviance and the current downward spiral of public opinion. Silence here, as in most cases, represents the power wielded and power taken by those who are seen as, well, powerful.

Everything went to hell after that interview. More women came forward. You could feel the momentum shift. Cosby and his legal team have done everything in their power to destroy every victim, delay the judgement of the courts, and keep him out of prison.

So long, motherfucker.


Tuesday, September 11, 2018

We Need Another Show Like The Sopranos




The Deuce has a lot of things going for it, and this is as close as you’re going to get to actual adult programming these days:

“Who would have thought the most boring part of this whole thing would have been the fucking?”

Maggie Gyllenhaal’s prostitute turned adult filmmaker gets the line of the episode in Sunday night’s season two premiere of The Deuce, the ‘70s-set look at the sex workers and vagrants populating Times Square from The Wire’s David Simon and George Pelecanos

The quip doubles as a keen mission statement for a subtle, culturally mandated redirection in the series’ new season. To continue to merely titillate, scandalize, or expose the seediness of the sex industry, no matter what truths or humanities are revealed along the way, would be mundane to the point of problematic. 

This is a season that centers around female sex workers finding their agency, learning that they have a right to be protected, discovering their worth, and taking control of their rights and bodies. 

It’s a slight shift. Season one of the series was always headed in this direction, but season two accelerates down that path with showy purpose. And, despite his continued presence and entertaining dual performance as brothers Vincent and Frankie, you can’t help but suspect that the person—or at least the story—The Deuce is speeding away from is James Franco.

When The Sopranos appeared, it was actual adult entertainment for thinking people. It wasn’t just the sex and violence; it was the thinking that went into how the sex and the violence were used to tell the story. The same thing can be said of Breaking Bad and whatever else you like, but there is a real absence of television for thinking adults.

Anywhere you find David Simon, prepare to use your brain. My brain tells me James Franco probably isn’t going to make it to a third season, if it happens at all.

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

The Double Standard




Chris Hardwick has his gig back, and James Gunn is still out as director of Guardians of the Galaxy 3.

That's where we are right now. Someone can be credibly accused of sexual assault, and get back in front of a camera. A guy gets caught by some Gamergate losers making jokes a decade ago--and doesn't actually hurt someone physically--and he's unable to sit in a director's chair.

Fuck you, Hollywood. You're full of bullshit.

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Look on My Works, ye Mighty, and Despair




Every monument to Trump is a symbol of folly and degradation:

I met a traveller from an antique land,

Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,

Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;

And on the pedestal, these words appear:

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;

Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away.”

 

At some point, there will be no buildings, no resorts, nothing that will dare feature his name. There aren't enough Rent-a-Cops in the world to guard these wretched places.

Saturday, July 7, 2018

Slumming With Another Star Wars Movie




Given all of the nonsense and negativity that surrounds starring in a Star Wars movie, this is kind of a surprise:

Keri Russell is headed to a galaxy far, far away.

Sources tell Variety that the “Felicity” alum is in early talks to join J.J. Abrams’ “Star Wars: Episode IX,” which Abrams is writing and directing. Russell and Abrams last collaborated on 2006’s “Mission: Impossible III.”

The role calls for action-heavy fight scenes. Russell has shown her ability to perform tough stunts in projects like FX’s “The Americans,” “Mission: Impossible,” and “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.”

Abrams and Lucasfilm execs met with several actresses for the role in the past two months and settled on Russell right before the Fourth of July holiday. Abrams will likely cast two more actors by the time the film begins production at the end of the month. Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, and Adam Driver are all expected to return.

I hope they give Russell something interesting to do, and I hope it's more along the lines of what they had Laura Dern do the last time they put a female character in their little money-making thing.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Freddie Mercury




If Rami Malek can pull this off, he deserves an Oscar. He deserves ALL the awards.

I never thought that they could make a movie about Freddie Mercury because how the hell do you portray someone so iconic? How would you make a movie about David Bowie or Prince? Who on Earth could play those guys and not pale in comparison to what we had in real life? I don't think anyone has ever done Elvis justice, either.

The trailer is great, but this seems self-serving and bitchy:

Writer and producer Bryan Fuller is accusing 20th Century Fox of “hetero-washing” the story of Queen frontman Freddie Mercury in a new trailer and marketing materials for the biopic “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

“Anyone else mildly annoyed … that the #BohemianRhapsody trailer features gay/bi superstar Freddie Mercury flirting with and twirling with a woman but no indication of his love of men?” Fuller tweeted on Tuesday after the clip hit the web.

The footage shows actress Lucy Boynton staring longingly at star Rami Malek as Mercury, also leaping into his arms. Boynton plays Mary Austin, who some credit as Mercury’s muse but is not well known in pop culture. The trailer also features a young man coming on to Malek’s Mercury in a recording studio, but it’s blink-and-miss.

You can't judge a movie based on watching the trailer, but why should that stop anyone, right? Who knows what the film really deals with? And, honestly, this could be one of the greatest performances ever if Malek can convince people he's Freddie. Enjoy it! Don't bitch at it.

Monday, April 23, 2018

Sex Tape Lawyer




It is because I am a naive boy who was raised on the Minnesota prairie that I did not know that one could aspire to the job of "sex tape lawyer."

I knew there were lawyers, of course, and I knew that if you went to college and then law school, you could practice law anywhere in the country. Anywhere in the world, maybe, although being a lawyer amongst people who don't care about the law is a worthless endeavor.

Did you grow up wanting to be a sex tape lawyer? Was there a void in your life? A need for titillation? I don't want to judge, but becoming a lawyer who specializes in the litigation of who owns what when it comes to a sex tape is like throwing away good talent and hard work. What did you do to get to the top of that industry? Where did you advertise? Who did you have to con in order to make it big?

Come on, spill it.  You have to have people with specific legal needs, the money to transact between each other, and a surfeit of sex tapes that will allow you to be the litigator you always wanted to be, a lawyer who handles the legal ramifications of sex tapes.

Pretty good gig, I suppose. You could make millions. That's all that matters today.

Now, go away.

Who are these horrible shits? These terrible people with no morals and a mastery of the ins and outs of the laws surrounding people who film themselves having sex with others who don't necessarily know (wink, wink) they are being filmed for prurient reasons?

Who injected these foul, misbegotten garbage can people into our politics and our discourse? We are not supposed to have to explain to ourselves how this goes on. I'm not some moral prude. I don't care if Bill Clinton got a blowjob. I would expect that he would have been a bit more careful about it, but okay. 

But this? These people around Trump?

Why, they're the equivalent of a massive ball of fat, lard and shit coagulated in the pipes below London Town. They're holding back the flow of the rest of the sewage we don't want to live in, the flow that takes it to the treatment plant and cleans it up as it should be sanitized and handled. 

Your taxes pay for that service. But the people around Trump are wasting our time, frittering away our money, and letting their personal immorality get in the way of solving real problems. God, just fuck these people for being so unpalatable and rancid in the way that they do things. What a waste, seeing these sex tape lawyers go at it like starving hyenas.

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Andie MacDowell Has Always Been Underappreciated




Here is another rare example of an older woman making art in Hollywood:

Throughout a 34-year career marked by films as varied as sex, lies and videotapeGroundhog Day and Four Weddings and a Funeral, Andie MacDowell has proven that she can do it all. 






Nonetheless, she’s never done anything quite as superb as her work in Love After Love, in which she stars as a woman coming to grips with the death of her husband, and the tumultuous individual and familial upheaval created by that loss. As Suzanne, MacDowell exudes a bracing mix of vulnerability, tenderness and longing, as well as a healthy dose of misery and bitterness that comes to the fore during her many scenes opposite Chris O’Dowd (as Suzanne’s misstep-making son Nicholas). It’s a tale of grief, dysfunction and survival that heralds its first-time writer/director Russell Harbaugh as one of American cinema’s finest new artists, and reconfirms MacDowell’s standing as a Hollywood star of formidable charisma and complexity.

MacDowell has always been treated differently by the film community. Her southern accent has been held against her since day one. Her ability to act has never been in doubt, but she has suffered because of her fashion model good looks (as if that's even possible, and it is).

I'm glad she's working but I wish there was more for her to do. I wish there was more for people who are older and don't care for super hero movies to see and experience because this would be a great time for telling stories about living in an age when our politics aren't working and our lives and work are changing minute by minute. MacDowell would be great in anything relatable because she has always made that her strength. If she isn't being denigrated for her looks, then someone probably has an issue with her age.

It's not fair for her, or for any actress in her generation, to have to struggle to make art when her abilities are simply not in question. What is problematic here is that the people who control what gets made in Hollywood have never come to terms with the fact that older people like stories they can relate to.

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Carl's Jr is a Stupid Company




Apparently, there's no fun allowed anywhere, and whoever is running things at Carl's Jr. is an idiot:

Fast food restaurant chain Carl's Jr. is getting in on the hype for Steven Spielberg's latest movie, Ready Player One.

On Sunday, Carl's Jr. tweeted that it would be changing the name of its charbroiled sliders to "SpielBurgers," in honor of the director and his upcoming film. "Spielberg hasn’t signed off yet, but we assume he’s cool with it," the company wrote.

A Carl's Jr. representative on Tuesday told The Hollywood Reporter, "SpielBurgers are not a menu item at Carl’s Jr. locations. This was a social stunt from the brand to try and get the attention of Spielberg and his team to celebrate the launch of Ready Player One."

You don't go public with something like this unless you have a marketing deal in place. Did they think they were going to shame Steven Spielberg into doing something like this?

Morons.

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Yes, You Can Ignore Roseanne Barr From Now On




I'm so glad that I don't have to pay attention to anything Roseanne Barr says after her recent foray into American political discourse. I don't get the sense that she actually believes what she is saying. I think she's smart enough to know that there's a market for her show's revival and that, if she can tap into the audience that Tim Allen's show had, then that's what she is going to do.

The audience for Last Man Standing is perfect for what she's selling now. I don't get it--I really don't. Roseanne was supposed to be about working class people who knew that the coastal elites didn't care about the so-called heartland of this country. She made a brilliant show out of the ordinary and she made art out of something as common as can be. What she's doing now is a masterclass in trolling people and carving out a niche market in a wasteland of fractured attention spans.

Why not be honest and say, look, there's a conservative audience for a sitcom and this audience is being under-served? Go for it. Everyone is entitled to make a living. But don't try to bullshit people by pretending to be all Make American Great Again. No thinking person actually supports Trumpism. There are those who believe in it, and they know nothing about this country. Then there are people who are complicit and won't admit it. Fuck them.

And, no, the person who put this on TV back in 1994 wouldn't have anything to do with the Trump regime today. There's a cognitive dissonance here that speaks to how ugly Roseanne's thinking is today.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Where Did He Get the Helicopter?




Christian Desgroux put on the uniform of an Army Lieutenant General and landed a helicopter on the grounds of a company in North Carolina in order to impress a woman:

A Raleigh man was indicted by a federal grand jury today for pretending to be a United States Army Lieutenant General and transporting someone in a helicopter, according to a release from the U.S. Department of Justice.

According to the release, Christian Gerald Desgroux, 57, pretended to be a lieutenant general in the Army while transporting a person to a classified briefing. Desgroux also pretended that he had the authority to land the helicopter at SAS headquarters in Cary.

Good grief. Journalism 101:

Where. Did. He. Get. a. Helicopter?

What kind of helicopter was it? Was it stolen? Who allowed this man to take a helicopter if it wasn't stolen? Does he possess a helicopter pilot's license or training? Who owns the helicopter that he used?

If anyone can just take a helicopter and fly it around, then I think we have a bigger problem than some poor lovelorn man's flirtation with Stolen Valor.

A Year Off




We all need a year off now and then:

In the midst of promoting her latest film, Jennifer Lawrence says she’s taking a break from acting to work on political engagement with the young folks. 

The Red Sparrow star tells Entertainment Tonight she’s going on Hollywood hiatus for a year, during which time she’ll be “working with this organization as a part of Represent.Us ... trying to get young people engaged politically on a local level.” Lawrence explains her newfound gig isn’t about promoting “partisan [politics]. “It’s just anti-corruption and stuff trying to pass state by state laws that can help prevent corruption, fix our democracy,” the Mother! lead says.

 

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Wakanda




If you plan on seeing the movie Black Panther this weekend, try to remember that one of the central arguments made by the Trump regime is that people from Africa shouldn't come to this country because they might bring their "shithole" countries with them.

How is it that no one has asked Trump if he thinks Wakanda is a real country? I still haven't figured that out yet.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Chris Cillizza is a Disgrace




Did Chris Cillizza write that headline? Why did he even bother to write this post? He used eight letter 'y's' in his post. Or someone did it for him under his byline. Who comes up with this stuff?

Here, he admits he is a hack:

It's easy to make fun of Trump for not telling the truth about something so easily checkable as the ratings for his State of the union speech. It's basically why Twitter was invented. And I am as guilty as anyone of being glib about his little white lies.

Never admit you are ridiculous. Never ask people a question they already know the answer to.

Here's another one tip.

Avoid complete and utter fucking hacks like Cillizza. What a disgrace to the very idea of putting ideas on the Internet for people to read.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Stormy Daniels is Not a Stupid Person




We have been conditioned to think that the blonde in question is an idiot. That does not seem to be the case:

Stormy Daniels [Stephanie Clifford] can't get her story straight. Or maybe she can but chooses not to.

The pornographic film director and actress issued a signed statement Tuesday in which she once again denied having an affair with Donald Trump in 2006. Then, in a bizarre twist, she cast doubt on the authenticity of the statement hours later in an interview with late-night comedian Jimmy Kimmel.

Kimmel noted that Daniels's signature on the statement appeared different from her previous signatures.

“Did you sign this letter that was released today?” Kimmel asked.

“I don't know. Did I?” Daniels replied. “That does not look like my signature, does it?”

Wait. What? Of course Daniels knows whether she signed the statement. After the Kimmel interview, Daniels's spokeswoman, Gina Rodriguez, told The Washington Post that she and an attorney witnessed Daniels sign the document Tuesday afternoon.

Daniels either suffers from short-term memory loss or, more likely, is deliberately sending mixed messages.

Why would she do that? Here's a theory: Daniels is trying to tell us, through winks and nudges, that she did have sex with the future president, even as she officially denies an affair.

Daniels said in her statement Tuesday that she was not “paid ‘hush money,’ as has been reported in overseas-owned tabloids.” That was a backhanded reference to a report by the Wall Street Journal that Daniels accepted $130,000 to keep quiet during the 2016 presidential race. (For the record, Journal owner Rupert Murdoch is Australian-born but is a U.S. citizen, and the paper is not tabloid-size.)

Of course, all someone has to do is step forward with a penalty check--probably a little larger than $130K--and then double it so that Miss Clifford (her real last name) can come clean about what went on, but who's going to do that?

She knows that no one will help her. No one will do that. So, why not cash in?

We are being manipulated, of course. We're being led around by a woman who understands that men are stupid because they will spend untold amounts of money to be in her presence and buy the products she sells (beyond movies, she is an entrepreneur who sells access to the content she creates and to the sex toys that she endorses). She knows that the focus is on her looks and her line of work. This is smart because she is in the process of enriching herself despite what the country is doing to itself. She's more of a Republican than Trump, for crying out loud.

But what's really troubling is that this has not crippled Trump politically. Lesser sex scandals in size and scope (he had a relationship with her for about a year, in case you have forgotten) have sunk Democrats. For someone like Trump, of course not. This is who he is. He's a serial philanderer who doesn't care what anyone thinks of him. He makes hypocrites out of every follower.

I may be in the minority, but if Clifford had come out with her story in late 2016, it wouldn't have made a difference. It might have even helped Trump with the asshole contingent that voted for him. Certainly nothing he does is hurting him with evangelicals and Nazis.

Saturday, January 27, 2018

Officer, I'd Like to Report a Murder




So, Richard Marx basically killed Piers Morgan again today.

The problem is, there is virtually nothing left of Morgan because he has been obliterated, again and again, by people on Twitter. This is the guy who shouldn't even have a Twitter account anymore because he has been humiliated so many times on the platform, no one has any credible way of keeping statistics on it. He has, literally, been vaporized on a social media platform and reduced to a quivering heap of ashes and grease stains that have been driven into a cheap piece of carpeting, and walked on by millions and millions of indifferent souls. He has been turned into a barely-remembered afterthought by the collective efforts of those who have taken his ridiculous statements and turned them into withering insults that would have driven any decent person to eschew commenting in public altogether forever. He is without shame or anything resembling a public profile now, and when the sun hits him in a public place, he casts no shadow whatever because sunlight cannot fall on him because he has, for all intents and purposes, been rendered invisible to all good people.

He is Piers Morgan, and he is the consistency of a dissipated wet fart that dried out years ago.

Monday, January 22, 2018

Megyn Kelly Should Not Start Any Feuds Over Plastic Surgery




NBC is not going to get its money's worth out of Megyn Kelly:

Megyn Kelly is firing back on Jane Fonda for criticizing the NBC Today host for asking about her plastic surgery.

In a rather blistering segment addressing the audience on Monday’s program, Kelly defended asking the legendary actress and activist in September about the work she’s had done, noting she looked amazing for her age (Fonda is 80). Fonda has criticized the question as the “wrong place and wrong time” and called Kelly “not that good of an interviewer.”

“When she first complained — publicly after the program and repeatedly — I choose to say nothing because my philosophy is that what people think of me is none of my business,” Kelly began in the clip below. “However, Fonda was at it again last week — here on NBC and then again elsewhere — so it’s time to address the ‘poor me’ routine.”

“First some context,” Kelly continued. “Fonda was on [my show] to promote a film about aging [Our Souls at Night]. For years, she has spoken openly about her joy in giving a cultural face to older women. Well, the truth is, most older women look nothing like Fonda, who is now 80. And if Fonda really wants to have an honest discussion about older women’s cultural face, then her plastic surgery is tough to ignore. Fonda herself knows this. She knows this. That’s why, to her credit, she’s discussed plastic surgery pretty much everywhere before coming on our show.”

Come on, grow up. No one should be asked or shamed about something like that. If you want to discuss it, you have your staff talk to her staff. This is how talk shows are supposed to work. No surprises, ever.

Kelly is terrible on the air, and can't function in polite society. She may have had success on Fox being able to deliver racist memes and ideas in a polite, blonde-lady sort of way, but this is just not going to work in the regular media.

Ansel Elgort's Track Team Photo Revealed




It was very nice of the people who run the website for this year's Golden Globes to find Ansel Elgort's senior year track team photo:






Elgort turned in an Oscar-worthy performance in Baby Driver, which was clearly one of the most original films of the year. Hence, that's why it won't win many awards, right?

My two biggest criticisms of Baby Driver:

Once again, no one thought to create a character that would allow Lily James to actually act like a real person.

Once again, Millennials will not pay for music.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Alana Evans




At any other point in American History, Alana Evans would be a household name right now:

President Trump allegedly chased adult film star Stormy Daniels around a hotel room in his underwear, friend and fellow adult-film star Alana Evans claimed Tuesday in an appearance on Megyn Kelly Today. Evans first told The Daily Beast that she was invited to the hotel room that night to “party” with Trump and Daniels. “‘Come hang out with us. Come have fun. Let’s party,’” Evans told Kelly that Trump said. “If you’re inviting me to a hotel room to hang out with another man and a girlfriend of mine, it’s very easy for you to, you know, believe that there’s going to be more going on than just, you know, playing cards or scrabble.” Evans relayed that when she later asked Daniels how the night went she’d said, “‘Well, picture this. Donald Trump chasing me around the bedroom in his tighty whities’ isn’t something that you ever forget.’”

Basically, the President of the United States of America had ongoing relationships with multiple adult film stars and Playboy models. Hush money was paid to an unknown number of women to remain silent about this.

When did the president wear tighty whities and why isn't that being asked by every reporter in the land right now?

It's okay if you're a Republican, but when this stuff happened to Democrats (Gary Hart, Bill Clinton, John Edwards), it was Earth shattering and consumed the media for years.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

In a World of Horrors, Satire is Dead




The reason why people didn't get it is because they are being traumatized every day of their lives:

This New Year’s Day, Amazon tapped Saturday Night Live alums Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon to host its live coverage of the annual Rose Parade as fictional local news anchors Cord Hosenbeck and Tish Cattigan from Pasadena, California. As least some viewers were not amused. 

A look through the nearly 1,400 one-star reviews of the streaming special, produced by Funny or Die, reveal some seriously confused customers who somehow had no idea they were watching a comedy show. 

“I have watched the Rose Parade for over 30 years. I'm so frustrated that the hosts have absolutely no respect for the parade or the entrants,” a woman named Beth wrote. “They seem to be more interested in doing bits than talking about the bands/floats. I would have enjoyed the broadcast so much better without hosts. I'm EXTREMELY disappointed.”

“Way to go, Amazon ... totally RUINING the Rose Parade with 2 inane idiots who thought the event was ALL ABOUT THEM!!” Sue screamed. “(Do you really think fear of horses and depression are fitting parade commentary?!!) First, we muted. Then we missed several bands and floats while trying desperately to find a decent live-stream. Finally landed with ultra-professional KTLA. You might review them to learn how it's done!!!”

And then there was this one from John: “Fantastic camera work, but someone replace the two morons hosting this!!!!!!” 

There are hundreds more in the same vein, though the average has risen to three stars thanks to an even larger number of five-star reviews from those who understood that the commentary was supposed to be awkward and uncomfortable.

I watched the parade with the normal commentary, and I can get why people were thrown off. The Rose Parade is an anachronism. Nobody works with their hands anymore. No one has patience. And to actually create something that, in a matter of hours, will fall apart after turning brown for the sole purpose of entertaining others is so 20th Century. It takes three hours and covers five miles. America can't handle those dimensions anymore. Next year's Rose Parade will be twenty minutes and cover three blocks.
















Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Scenes From the Collapse of the American Republic




This is what it looks like when democracy has begun to wither and die on the vine. No one has any decency. No one possesses the slightest amount of humility. And why bring your kids along? Why put your children through something like this?