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 Rampage of the Innocents - My Historical Romance Novel (now, with more sex and violence for my teenaged readers)

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"You know, I hear everybody talking about the generation gap. Frankly, sometimes I don't know what they're talking about. Heck, by now I should know a little bit about it, if I'm ever going to. I have seven kids and eighteen grandkids and I don't seem to have any trouble talking to any of them. Never have had, and I don't intend to start now." - John Wayne

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Norman Rogers is the driving force behind "Celebrity Disaster."

This is a blog dedicated to the arts, celebrity, the entertainment industry, you know--light, fluffy, unserious stuff--that can kill.

Mr. Rogers explains:

"I wanted to have a world-class blog, and I have that. I wanted to write about sports, and I have that, too. I wanted a place to tell the stories about my secret work as a Gentleman Bounty Hunter, and I have that now. I wanted to post pictures of nearly-naked hotties, and I have that. What I didn't have was my own venue to comment on the world of celebrity, and now I have that as well. To me, modern celebrity is a disaster, and the name was available, so we took it, and that's what you have right here. Celebrity Disaster! It doesn't make sense, but it doesn't have to."

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Entries in Analysis (26)

Monday
25Jan2010

Norman's Quick Contesseration for January 25, 2010

DateMonday, January 25

Lucy Becker is a perfect example of elegance

I have to contesserate quickly--we're packing for St. Thomas.

One of the better things that I have done recently is to attack an assertion made by James Taranto--was there a health care crisis? Is there currently a health care crisis? Depends on who you are.

The radio business is a turnkey operation. You have little or no overhead, and you can make a ton of money if you're smart. Air America wasn't run by smart people. Some clown burned down a bowling alley in New Jersey and ruined things for a lot of Joe Sixpacks. If you're going to kill people in the name of the American people, make sure it's a part of a strategic vision, not part of a revenge fantasy. I've noticed that the Sunday Morning Talk Shows are the John McCain show, and he makes a great armchair quarterback. Oh, and you're a nation of flaming, ignorant jackasses, but Joe Klein didn't put it as poetically as that.

I talked some smack about sports, but, really, aside from the NFL playoffs, what they hell is going on? Practically nothing.

I started a farm at Farmville, and the experience is underwhelming.

AuthorNorman Rogers, Celebrity Expert | tagged , , , , , , , in , CommentPost a Comment
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Saturday
23Jan2010

No Thirst For Mindless Violence

DateSaturday, January 23

iCarly with some young man named David Archuletta

What is this iCarly thing that the kids keep telling me about? I have no idea. I can't stop watching the World War II channel. Did you know that there used to be oil in Romania? What a pity Romania isn't Saudi Arabia right now.

Anyway, Fox has a problem.

A problem with a venerable franchise that, right now, is probably worth a lot of money in syndication, not so much on nightly television:

Even the brute force of 24's Jack Bauer could not defeat the feisty teens of iCarly. 

The Monday, January 18 premiere of Nickelodeon's iCarly: iSaved Your Life topped the ratings for all broadcast programming in its time slot, including the season premiere of the popular Fox action/drama 24, which came in second place by 5% with 11.4 million total viewers.

iCarly follows the on-air antics and off-air adventures of three teens and one crazy older brother — Carly (Miranda Cosgrove), along with her best friends Sam (Jennette McCurdy) and Freddie (Nathan Kress) — who star in a hit webshow, and big bro Spencer (Jerry Trainor). iCarly features novel viewer interaction: fans of the show can upload their own wacky original videos to www.iCarly.com, with the chance that their creation will be worked into the television program.

In iCarly iSaved Your Life, Freddie saves Carly from an out-of-control taco truck. Because of his heroism, his three-season-long crush on Carly comes to fruition. The millions of fans who tuned in to witness Carly and Freddie’s hotly anticipated first kiss made iSaved Your Life the highest rated live-action series premiere for the Nickelodeon.

That's what they call a butt kicking.

I looked at this iCarly thing on YouTube, and I really don't get it. The kids are smarter than the adults? Check. The adults are goofy and foolish? Check. Everyone who appears on television is fresh faced and normal? Except for the occasional oddball? Check. Well, it's no where near as good as Phineas and Ferb, I'll tell you that. Perhaps that's not a fair comparison, though.

If you're Kiefer Sutherland, that has to be the thing that convinces you to stop taking the easy paychecks. Hopefully, someone with a movie offer will call. I hate to bring in the downer that is politics, but people cheered the fight against terrorism when it was okay to beat the crap out of people to get them to talk. Now that more Americans are informed about terrorism--and have stood in long lines waiting to get on planes that don't show up on time--they're a bit turned out.

Has family television made a comeback? Well, iCarly is family television for a young slice of the family that probably feels disaffected. They like shows about boys and girls who pretend to kiss after the boy saves the girl from a taco truck. If you're writing for 24 right now, ouch. Freshen that resume, sir.

Well, I don't know what to add, other than, no, 24 really was never that good. Innovative in seasons one and two perhaps, but how many people can you torture? How many times must we see that old tripe about how government bureaucrats aren't going to protect us?

AuthorNorman Rogers, Celebrity Expert | tagged , , , , , , , in , , , , , CommentPost a Comment
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Wednesday
16Dec2009

And With Good Reason

DateWednesday, December 16
Nominated, and, yes, Brad Pitt is funnier than anyone listed below

This tidbit appears in the "snubbed" list of nominations for the Golden Globes:

NOT NOMINATED FOR BEST COMEDY/MUSICAL ACTOR
Jim Carrey, "A Christmas Carol"
Sacha Baron Cohen, "Bruno"
Bradley Cooper, "The Hangover"
Ryan Reynolds, "The Proposal"

I really can't think of four more dreadfully unfunny people. Sometimes, one man's snub is another man's example that things are working the way they were intended.

AuthorNorman Rogers, Celebrity Expert | tagged , , , , , , , in , , , , CommentPost a Comment
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Thursday
10Dec2009

Poor Little Doggies

DateThursday, December 10

A scene from "Beverly Hills Chihuahua"

I've never minded small dogs. You have people who don't care for small dogs, but I'm a lover of all animals. I like cats and dogs, I prefer ferrets, and I do help out with my son's humane mink farm. I sort of like birds. I can tolerate hogs and horses and cows, and chickens? I love me some yardbird. It was my idea to get back at the neighbors where we used to live in Manchester, New Hampshire by getting thirty hens and letting them wander around in the front yard for a few months--oh, the homeowner's association just had a field day with my yardbirds.

Anyway, dingbats in Hollywood, chihuahuas, no money, oh, damn!

California has more Chihuahuas than it can handle, and it has Hollywood to blame.

There are so many Chihuahuas at shelters in Oakland, they have started shipping the dogs out of state, said Megan Webb, director of Oakland Animal Services. They have sent about 100 to Washington, Oregon and Arizona, she said, "and as soon as they get them, they are ready for new ones."

Chihuahuas make up 30 percent or more of the dog populations at many California shelters. And experts say pop culture is to blame, with fans immitating Chihuahua-toting celebrities like Paris Hilton and Miley Cyrus, then abandoning the dogs.

The problem appears to be specific to California - shelters elsewhere would love to share the wealth, said Gail Buchwald, senior vice president overseeing the ASPCA adoption center in New York City.

"We never have enough supply for the huge consumer demand for small dogs," she said.

It's too bad that Gelbaum fellow in California is broke--he could have used a couple of million dollars to fly Chihuahas to places like Sioux City and Lexington and Shit Holler, West Virginny and wherever else. Oh well. I'm sure someone will start a charity to move them to places where they can be adopted. The trouble is, who has any money anymore? Chihuahuas are not cheap to care for.

AuthorNorman Rogers, Celebrity Expert | tagged , , , , , , , in , , , , CommentPost a Comment
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Sunday
20Sep2009

Hugh Laurie Just Wants to Collect Workman's Comp

DateSunday, September 20

Every time I see this coming, I get angry. Angry at how the welfare system has ruined this country. Well, maybe not the welfare system, but the workman's comp system--wow, has it really done a number on this country:

Hugh Laurie says he may be forced to quit his starring role in the hit TV medical drama House - because pretending to have a limp has given him real injuries.

The former Blackadder star now has a limp himself after playing cantankerous
Dr Gregory House, who uses a cane to walk, for the past five years.

Laurie, 50, said: ‘The show might last through to series seven, eight or nine but I don’t know if I will because I’m starting to lose my knees. It’s a lot of hip work. There are things going badly wrong. I need to do yoga.’

The actor has been nominated for Best Actor at the Emmy Awards for three years in a row, and the series is shown in 66 countries.

As Dr House, he walks with a limp in his right leg - the result of a gunshot wound.

No one should deliberately injure themselves just to make a lot of money, create something beloved and artistic, and something that is enjoyed and watched by millions--unless they're a professional athlete or a porn star. Laurie, being an Englishman, is programmed to want to be on "the dole" and now that he's lined up a gig in America, this is his chance to get on the state of California's dole and collect workman's comp.

And that's fine. I'm sure that, by laying around, eating takeout and watching daytime television, he can relax a bit and sort out his holidays. But let's not call this something that it isn't, which is a blatant attempt to take advantage of the generous workman's compensation rules for the state of California before cuts need to be made in the state legislature.

AuthorNorman Rogers, Celebrity Expert | tagged , , , , in , , Comment2 Comments
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